The Portion Creep

Posted on February 12th, 2009 by

THE PORTION CREEP Image by goodrob13 ( Used under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 2.0 Generic license (

Be on the lookout for the Portion Creep

Who is he? He’s a pusher. He’s the furtive guy standing on your shoulder at Hello Wok, who says “hey, that person in front of you got more than you did! You’re getting ripped off!” And when you say, “but I don’t WANT any more than this, the Creep says, “doesn’t matter. You DESERVE it.”

Keep an eye out for this guy. He’s insidious. By mid-semester, he’ll have you convinced that three cups of party potatoes really IS a “single serving.” He’ll have you sweet-talking the carver into throwing “just a few more slices” of meat onto your already-piled-high plate. “C’mon,” the Creep’ll say, “you’re paying a lot of money to go to this place. They OWE you….” And you’ll be too polite to reply, with your mouth full.

You’ll never see the Portion Creep hanging out at the tray return. He’s got a real aversion to food waste, which is kinda funny, given the way he encourages it.

When you see this guy, tell him to take a hike. Choose portion sizes that match your hunger…not your craving for a “bargain.”

Want more information about portion size? Here’s a helpful website:

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  1. BJHeldke says:

    My partner’s ex’s husband tells the waitperson: “Hey – we are trying to be SMALLER people, not bigger”. Bravo

  2. Steve Kjellgren says:

    Seriously – I saw the Creep twice yesterday – once at the salad bar and a second later – The Rotisserie. Not sure – but I had a weird feeling over by the Soft Serve machine too – like someone was watching me, keeping my hand frozen to the lever until my cone was 10 inches high….eewww……